Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/rhod rhod_20140726-1739a.mp3

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in my kitchen in London.ロッド・ギルバートのベストなビッツ。

I am back. I should point out that, uh, I've been knocking __ into people, all over the places we __ never __ going, "Uh, you were on holiday?" I haven't been on holiday. BBC Wales have put it out there like I've been on a holiday. I have been working ... working ... on my, uh, BBC TV Work Experience series, filling__ in__ episode. That's what I've been doing. I haven't been on holiday, right? sort it out. Now __ __ on the show today, Mr. B__ A__, Little B__ A__ is here. / Little? Nice. リトル？ご挨拶だな。/ I always call everyone Little. / Oh, do you? / Yes. The thing. It's just __ way __ people down right at the top of the show so they don't get the idea of this ... / or I am much shorter than you / you just happen to / most people are, on this show, apart from Chris Corcoran, who is taller, and G__ D__ is a lot taller. / yeah / most people are. Little Lloyd __ / did you, uh ... / I think __ __ might be taller / did you / nice holiday / really / I don't / see / when you are not. / 'cause people __ when you are on holiday. / I'm going on holiday next week. / Yes. And I'm annoyed. / __, __ proper holiday / I'm annoyed. / Yeah? / I'm annoyed that you're gonna on holiday / You can come with me. / No, I can't come with you. I've got work to do. That's the thing about / annoying / pretty winds me up / people / I'm not going to enjoy the holiday now. / No? Good. I'm happy. ... I was working last week __ Work Experience. Not on holiday. / Yeah. / I was working down in T__. / Nice. / In a hotel. / No, no. __ __ __. I was working, __ see / Well, T__ is lovely / T__ is beautiful. / It's a nice place __ holiday / not on holiday / I was working / stunning place. Haven't been there for 30 years. Hasn't changed a bit. Wonderful. Beautiful. Absolutely stunning. / Yes. / Stunning. But I was working in a hotel. And that's the worst place to work 'cause you work in a ... I worked it out, the service industry, __ hotels and stuff. This is my concluding thought after about three days 三日ほど働いてみた俺の結論はこれだ： / it's awful because everyone else is on holiday / the harder you work / the more / relaxed / the better you are at the job, / yeah / the better the holiday they have. / yeah / you know, you slave away, you work __ __ __ and, the more you work, the better time they have, and that annoys you even more 'cause __ __ have a really nice holiday and they're relaxing / sitting by the pool / sipping cocktail / while / bring / I don't know why you did it, Rhod. / No. __ what I worked out is, everyone / hotel industry, this is the secret: Do really bad job, / right / so the guests have really bad holiday / yeah, / and everyone's happy. / Or ... or ... get a different job. あるいは、転職しろ。/ Or get a different job. / Just a thought. / just really wound me up / better job I did / better time they / good time. / such a humanitarian / yeah. It's annoying me. Uh, anyway, I was down to T__ / wonderful place. Get down there / T__ / get down there. I would look at this sunshine. __ It was stunning.

I've just realized __ __ we've had this problem in the past, that the dish-washer, I've left it on ... I / up / for the show today. I __ __ dish-washer on / Right. / stuff from the Friday night / and / I always think / finish / before the, uh, before the show / keep putting it on a cycle / brings it into the __ __, hang on a second. You cover. / uh, well, here I am, sitting __ __. Rhod looks at his, uh, his dish-washer, which he could have / night before, to be fair. But, you know, that would have been too logical. 前の日にセットしておけばよかったはずだが。/ That woul have been way too organized, mate. I am, uh, still young. A party animal. A party animal / put / on the night before. / wow / party animals / put it on at all, I suppose. / Yes / just leave a / big pile in the sink. / sink as well. / I was gonna mention that. / I don't know how we manage / two of us here. / Really? / Yeah. / that's a lot of dishes for two people. / And that's / two __s got in there. / What ... what did you eat? / Chicken curry. / Oh, that explains everything. / I made chicken curry. I didn't even make it from scratch. / You opened a __ of chicken curry / used all those dishes / I opened a box of chicken curry / that wine. You just put your plate in front of a box of chicken ... is that a good idea? / What? / good / ideas. / For what? / just, uh, you know / make my fortune / box of chicken curry / Chicken curry in a box? / yeah / not been done? That sounds familiar. / tap on / in front of / vacum__ bag 真空パックに蛇口みたいなものを付けてさ、/ right / open the tap / like a box of wine / producer / just / come / my ears / box / I know / box of wine / curry / right / and you just pour / chicken curry onto the plate. / And, how do you heat this up, Rhod? / it would already be heated / on the shelf, constantly hot / quite often got / little red knob __ the end / right / and / always / got it / last / in the hotel, they had one, constantly-hot water on the go, so the breakfast / silver tea pot / don't work / So, constant hot curry / call it. Rhod's constant / Box Curry. / It's catchy. / Rhod's constant / box curry? / Yeah. / All right / I'm gonna go / unveil it / Well, literally, when you eat it / different, uh, types. / Oh, OK. / Yeah. / you'll have everything / c__ up to your f__ / Nice. / ... up to your v__ / And what about, you know, stuff that comes with it / do that. ... Any other questions? / Yeah. Um, / say I want / couple of __s / those / have to ring a take-away. / You haven't / all the way / I didn't ... I didn't say it / buffe__.

Cheese, B__ A__, / Huh? / "Cheese", it says here, uh, the Daily Express / cheese may not / real stuff / nightmares チーズは悪夢の原因ではないらしい。/ talk about. / Go on. / always / cheese / Yes or no? / I still am. __ __ __ my mom. She still says / tells me not to / swimming / with a full stomach__ / like that / still, how old are you? / 14. / __ wouldn't have booked you / known that / same age as you / are you? / yeah / 45? / Yeah. / when were you born? / know / you're 68 / Go on / me any answers yet. You just say / same as me / given them / what month / born / October / November. / Huh ... Oh. So, you're younger than me? / Uh, yes. / No way. / What? / I've got hair. / Do you ... honestly, I've got other things to do on a Saturday morning. そんなこと言われてまでこの番組に出る義理は、オレにはないぞ。/ What? __ have hair? / n't take that long, mate / just / there / so far, you called me short / let's / what your body says about you / bold, if you've got / things like that / I / gonna do a profile of you. / need to. You've summed / perfectly so far. / Fat and bold? / Fat and bold. / short / No, hang on. ちょっと待てコラ。/ fat / added "fat" in / How was your holiday, Rhod? / cheese, B__ A__, chee ... / I'm glad you are / parents / moms do hilarious / my mother used to ... uh ... I used to go out, you know, as a teenage boy, / yeah / I used to go out, and, um, you know, drink some / pubs / growing up / yeah / and whenever I come home / one, two, three, four in the morning, whatever it was, there'd always be ... my mother / something new that day / right / I can remember one. I can remember, one night / about two or three in the morning / a few drinks, / yeah / on my bedroom door, saying "Don't use mouth wash!" マウスウォッシュを使うべからず！ / "Don't use mouth wash"? / yeah / mother had learnt / in the paper that day / news / might have / don't use / exclamation mark. / all the time. / That's brilliant / piece of advice / note / when I used to go out with a number of / friends from school, / Huh / my mom / milk / gotta drink this / Line your stomach__ 胃袋の内側に膜を張っておく / line your stomach__. And, uh ... / know / Good advice, though. / Was it? / See? This is the thing ... it's so hard to follow advice these days. I read this ... / cheese / I don't know what do do with red wine. / one day it says, uh, don't drink any red wine. It's carcinogenic__ / bad / two glasses of red wine, uh, might stop, uh, Alz__ / one glass of red wine / can / cure diabete__ / three glasses of red wine / three and a half glasses / next day / seven glasses / could / be careful, the third glass / might actually cause something else / you've never / drink seven glasses / I have to stop you there. You've made that one up そこんとこは作ったろ？ / every day the advice changes / different places / advice changes / every single day. It's impossible to keep up to date. / Yeah. / changing the volume of red wine / every day, __ __ __ __ / make up your own rules. / My rule is / just / keeps / drink / forgot the end of it. / bottle a day ... / bottle a day in a box of curry / you wait, mate. You laugh at my box of curry 笑えるのも今だけだ。/ Rhod's constant hot ... / name of it / I will patent it. / Huh huh. / Rhod's Constantly Hot Curry in a ... box ... curry. ... You wait, mate. Cheese, B__ A__ まあ、見てな。/ keep / keep interrupting / about / It's your show / Yes or No? / Yes. / start / quite enjoyed it, though / you stop yourself this time / you / now / now I have / even / my interruption / Sorry. Cheese. / Cheese. That's my topic. / All right. Go on. / P__ ... now, listen, everyone. / my favorite / P__? / Yeah. Lovely. / Cheese ... it says "Cheese may not be / real stuff / basically, the story / over the years about cheese / don't have cheese before bed because you would have / very wierd, surreal dreams / it / maybe not / cheese lovers / sleep easy. Experts / revealed / new study / different one tomorrow about about cheese. Uh ... "Experts / revealed / not cause nightmares. The claim is just a myth. In fact, researchers / eating cheese / may even / more restful night. / when I read that, B__ A__, / research here / or, uh ... what's his name? Mc__ Investigates__ or something / under cover in my own house / bag over my head / with a cheese hole in the front / just big enough for cheese in the front / right / and I ate some cheese. ... You're gonna ask me "Which cheese?", now, aren't you? / Uh ... OK. which cheese, Rhod? / you don't have to. I can't remember / yes / no. It was ... um ... __, / which is / Welsh blue cheese / bit like / but Welsh / right / I had some cheddar__ / Right. / and I had ... this is where / what it was / OH, OK. / you ... you don't like g__ cheese? / No. G__ cheese is my __. / it's good, innit? / there's a feature coming up in a second, ladies and gentlemen, ... anyway, so, / g__ cheese / blue cheese / all right. / And I went to bed. / Right. / Right? / let's see what happens here / how close to bed time did you eat / half an hour before __ went to bed / very close / really / it is, really, innit? / in bed, eating / as you fall asleep / do / clean your teeth, get into the bed / take / false teeth / cheese in bed / I had / went to bed / know / whenever I did / went to bed. I thought / let's see what happens / I'll tell you my dream / go on / about two in the morning, I met a girl. / In your ... in your dream? / ok / nothing special / didn't hit it off / just / there was a bond. There was a connection / off we went / a little / Huh, right. / big old c__ castle. "Creeeeeeek ..." ... that was the door / All right. Not her? / she was young / young / the other one / I guess. / yeah / opened the door to this castle / went in / and everyone in there / like little imps / ogre__ / and, sort of, pixies, and, sort of, Disney dwarves__, and, things like that, everyone, apart from us. / over a period of a few hours, I started ... I looked down on my right foot / and it was a hoof. / looked down on my left foot / just / fell away as I looked / big toe / swelling up and c__ing into a hoof. I never saw myself in the mirror / arrived with / little bit / nothing / she came in, and / like Sh__'s wife, a princess thing / yeah / S__ / yeah / What do you make of that? / oh / thing is / it was a really nice dream / I was really reassured / change into, like, a little hoofed pixie ogre__ imp, thing. / And you reckon / cheese / I don't know. We'll never know. / the thing is, was it a dream? Or were you __ing? そもそも、それは夢か？ 幻覚を見てたんじゃないのか？ / listen / the word I've said / nothing / make of that? I don't know. / feature / have you ever / should be terrifying but turned out to be very reassuring / Was that reassuing? That dream? / that was the end of it / good / wasn't it? / I was really happy / woke up / big disappointment / it was a mild disappointment / sort of / disappointment / just a mild __

I knew this would take off / said / dream / @rhodgilbertshow / "I have not. ... But I / a dream / real estate / including / relative costs / I love those dreams / about things you know nothing about / totally / comfort zone. / those / I spoke perfect Japanese. / No. / in my dream / pefect / know / every Japanese person understand what I was saying. That was ... that was good. / then I was disappointed / not knowing one word / single word / pefect Japanese / according to / do you think, though ... do you think, ... / yes or no / go on / Japanese / your brain was accessing / or do you think / g__ gook / in your dream / passing / do you think all those people / dream / complicit / right / I think they were ... / do you think / real / just / dream / fictitious. I know that / how would you know / Uh, 'cause / real people / how do you know / exist? / Now you are scaring me. 怖くなってきた。/ could be real people / Where from? / Just from / recess / street 20 years ago / you / all the Japanese people / in the years / hang on / put / one dream / 48 / Right. Put / populated dream / well-populated Japanese dream / I don't know them. I can't ... / did you / just / idle chit-chat / a w__ / you have met enough Japanese people in your ... in your life to gather them together and populate / dream / song coming on. / I haven't got one. / on the subject of dreams / subject of good bad dreams. I have always been scared of cows in my entire life. / I mean / oh, dear. Uh ... uh, "... my entire life / chased by a herd / when I was a child / year ago / I don't believe anyone / herd of cows / Can you? I take that back. そうなの？ よし、取り消す。/ sorry / all right / take / yes / you can get / attacked / herd of cows / also / attacked by a flock of sheep / once / chased by a flock of sheep / slipped and fallen. / ripped into shreds / that's quite / how far / chased / by these sheep / know / nobody ever gets / very far / they're fast runners / child / I know / got chased by a herd of cows / flock of sheep / mean / 20 yards or something / beginning / another field over / you never / two miles later / never still chasing / no / well, OK / full-on / something called / fear of cows / there's bound to be / Let's call it "bovine-phobia" / much better / say / cow / noise cow makes. / it? / anyway / email / you / sneaze / year ago / dreamt / unable to cross a man / remember / that / scary / even now, I, uh ... / have you seen / very scary / would / should have been caught / offered me a lift across / still / gave / that email / What? / he was scared / cows / child / dream / J__ chasing / river / offered / perspective on cows? / dream / also chasing him / cow helped / lovely story / here's the question, though. What did that cow / really / dream / entirely fictitious cow / same as the guy from J__ / fictitious capacity フィクショナルなキャパシティで彼は存在していると言えるじゃないか。/ He, he ... what? / he / in / capacity / all / therefore / it was somebody / a man, an actor. / Right. / So, he exists. / actor / guy / couldn't it? / in a dream / D__ V__ / is that real? / wouldn't / why not? / chasing type / was / cape / let's just say, let's just say for argument's sake / third / shuffles / really slowly / goes / slow on wheels / marches / panic / even / break into a run / undignified / can see him running? / for / start / then / helmet under his arm / isn't / let's face it / somebody / chasing / point / making / outrun / say that / you said "I could / outrun / your eyes / left / "Could I?" / could I outrun B__ / feature / could you outrun B__? / short / have / anyway / know

"Hi, Rhod. How do mice cope? Cheers. ネズミはどう対処しているのでしょうか？/ talking / eat / bad dreams / how / nothing. ... How do mice cope? / presume / cheese / dreams / I imagine, though / build / cheese / I mean / another good question / feature / how much / that's a very good / mice / what did I say? / next week / it / why not / mice / "Cheese Bites Back." Headline. / Whoo, nice. / yeah / how much / mice / in the wild / I presume / thinking / domestic / pet / amount of cheese / very largely dictated by the owner / feed your mouth nothing but cheese / probably / lot of cheese / feed / occasional / never feed / little spectrum / give / no / there we are / jot that down / in the wild / surely / cheese / in the wild / very good question / another feature / features are just tumbling in / where / get cheese in the wild? / I ... I feel / quite / not / at all / I love curiosity in questions. / all about that / how much cheese is there in the wild? / know / how much / how / how / how / eat? How ... / is __ cheese in the wild / droplet / anything / thinking that through / any exception / no / __'s not a tree, is it? 木に生えてるんじゃないよね？ / No. / you can throw / no / no / possibly red __ / What? / grows in the wild / any / be / planted some red __ / I reckon / red __ bush / nice / thing about mice / me, is / really live / do they have / holes / skirting board / Tom & Jerry mouse / ok / cross / forget that / yeah, because / what / think of / mouse / lives / that's why I think of / perfectly well-cut sanded__ hole 綺麗に切り抜いてサンドペーパーをかけた穴。/ bed / match / hole in the skirtboard / obviously know a lot more than I do / anyway / how / cope / I don't know, Jason. We don't know.

mice cope fine / head of / research project / research / prefer / mouse / cheese does not fit / he continues / smell / cheese / be available / natural environment チーズは自然界では得られない。/ pointed / right / absolutely / Tom & Jerry / lying to us / all years / from / kids / conscious / forever / little / no. Probably not. / available / natural / respond to / I don't believe that. / find things / mice / hungry enough / that is edible 腹が減っていれば、食えるものなら何でも食うだろう。/ however / trap / may / enticing / hello / co-host / this came / before / established / last week, your cover-presenter / I think that was / Eggzy / cover / I remember C__ W__s, an I'm only 11/12. It's my birthday, Saturday / happy / could / be on the podcast / no / took / right out of my mouth / production / podcast / make my year / on the podcast / 11/12 / Now, look, Josh. You know / 12 / happy / than just remembering C__ W__, mate / that / criteria / everything would be on it / you won't be on a podcast と、いうわけで、君はポッドキャストには収録されない。/ No. Everyone remembers / really / Josh / something that nobody else does, / as the production team / remembering something / not / podcast / my little friend. All right? / told / remember / right / front / is that? /

remember, B__ A__ / cast your mind back / remember / jacket / won / reigning champion / quiz / famous / R__ D__ cheated / actually / anyway / it was to do with / back / said / most famous / simply q__ing / most famous jacket in the world / lots / in / saying / uniform is / result / influencial / my answer / "probably not". But / Michael / twitter / regular / think / keep / listener / style / I don't know. I don't know, is all I can say / all of you / still / dress / they will know / because / if / village / uh, probably / maybe / massive customer / get / contract / chicken soup / chicken curry / constant / yeah / myself / excited / register the name first.

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